I have a problem: I’m a repeat cheater. Like it is my destiny in life to cheat on every boyfriend I’ve ever had. Even guys I am just casually seeing, I cheat on them with other guys I’m casually seeing. I’ve been with my current boyfriend for about three years. I thought he was the love of my life, the man I’d be with forever. I liked him so much before we dated, so when we finally “made it official,” I was incredibly happy. I was determined to not cheat on this one. And I didn’t. Fast-forward to this past summer.
I started working at a restaurant to make some money before I started law school, and I met the most amazing guy — smart, had a full-time grown-up office job, funny, made me laugh, and made me feel smart and funny. We went out for drinks a few times, with other people from work and alone, and something just clicked. What was so special about this guy that made me want to cheat on my boyfriend?
I encountered attractive men in all my jobs and internships and at school, but not one of them made me want to do something. This guy did. He made me feel daring and spontaneous and beautiful. He is six years older than me, which I think has a lot to do with it. I’ve always had a preference for “older men.” I think he knows what he wants, and he’s more mature than my boyfriend. He has more experience.
He knows how to treat a woman, and he knows how to make a woman feel good. So I did it. Two weeks later, I had committed my first (of many) serial cheating occurrences. I don’t know what was going through my head and why I allowed it to happen, but it did. Again. And again. Oh wait, and again. And then again. I can’t stop. It’s like a drug. How do I stop?
Why did I let myself basically ruin my perfectly good and successful three-year relationship with my boyfriend?? The man I thought I would love for the rest of my life? I keep telling myself there has to be a reason I’m so attracted to the guy from work. It has to be a sign that he came into my life. He’s great for so many reasons, but he has his flaws as well.
Flaws that drive me nuts. Flaws my boyfriend doesn’t have. Moral of the story, I no longer think I am in love with my boyfriend because I got caught up with work guy (but I’m technically still with my boyfriend). And now work guy is probably falling in love with me, based on things he’s said to me.
Yet I can’t stop seeing work guy. What in God’s name do I do? The simple answer is break up with my boyfriend. We tried that. He doesn’t let go easily, and I’ll admit I do still love him and we have a huge history with each other. And our families. And everything. I keep telling myself time will tell. HELP ME. Kudos to; Cosmopolitan/Omojuwa
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